A small matter of some very large tape

I’m opening mail right now, and paused for this public service announcement.

If you, like my cousin Cindy wrapping a Christmas present, feel like you need to tape every crevice of your submission envelope just in case, please take a step back and imagine you’re an editor with a letter opener that can’t find any purchase.

If it takes me more than 30 seconds to open your letter–and if I have to navigate multiple taped-up layers–you’re doing something wrong. Cease and desist with the tape, already! A neatly sealed envelope will do. If you feel you need to tape it to make sure it’ll stay closed, then leave a little hole where my letter opener can get in. You certainly don’t need to tape up every corner, including the corners of the part of the envelope that the manufacturer sealed. 

That’s just overkill.

Rest assured, you don’t want to be remembered as the person whose submission took me five minutes to open.

ETA: Can I also just go on the record with my enduring love for the self-sealing envel
ope?